OK, so we followed a link on a blog that we follow to check out this clip of Lawrence Tynes on Letterman. That’s when we discovered the worst possible scenario is playing out for the Super Bowl: it isn’t only Peyton Manning who is now annoying us in stupid ads that are shown about twice per commercial break, his little twerp brother Eli is joining him. And Mommy and Daddy Archie too. And it’s not just on TV anymore.
I don’t know if you’ll see it if you go to that link, but if you pay attention to the web, I have a disgusting feeling we’ll be seeing it a lot over the next couple of weeks (hopefully just on AOL, since I very rarely go there).
And of all things the ad could be for, it’s for Double Stuff Oreo’s–with Peyton and Eli joining something called the Double Stuff Race Lickers League or something like that. Seriously, can you get any more insestually homoerotic than that? At least Papa Archie has the good sense to look ashamed in the ad (although I’m guessing inside he’s laughing to the bank). And Mama Manning just claps along. Thankfully older brother Cooper stayed home (or wasn’t allowed to come along).
Possibly the funniest part of the whole thing is the final screen, where you can apparently sign up to win a chance to have a “Family Lick Race” against the Mannings (and $10k)–take a look at picture attached, and you can see how completely unnatural Peyton looks. I can envision the photographer saying “Hmmm, we tried alluring, we tried sexy…why don’t you give me your uncomfortable dirty old man trying to lure a kid into his van with a candy bar look…yeah, there, like you’ve [allegedly] got your ass in some trainer’s face.”
I fear this may only be the beginning of the Manning Family’s goal of having one of their sons in at least 80% of all advertisements in all media outlets in the U.S.–especially with some media apparently thinking that Eli has finally made the jump from “overlooked, doubted, and disrespected QB” to an NFL elite QB who “comes off as a nice guy, and he deserves the success he’s now experiencing, especially in light of what he’s been through.”
(Never mind that he was drafted #1 overall, and had the cajones to force a trade to New York from San Deigo just because he didn’t want to play there).
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